Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Revolutionary Humor

Why didn't the British invite the American colonies to their tea parties?

They found them revolting.

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Saturday, July 26, 2014

Spookily funny...

What do you call a reasonable and ordinary ghost?

An objective manifestation.

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Thursday, June 26, 2014

I've always been fond of the underdog

When weevils battle...

I always root for the lesser of the two weevils.*

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* This is clearly not an original, I merely had to get it out of my head.  But the caption is true.  

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Faerie-ly Funny

Why don't you call a lady unicorn "Mrs."?

Because a lady unicorn is a myth!

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Thursday, May 29, 2014

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Also, an alligator wearing a vest...

What do you call an alligator that researches stocks and bonds?

An investigator.*
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* Credit to Jeannette Haris, who originally suggested the titular version of the joke (same punchline).  

Monday, May 5, 2014

Dry humor or arid jocularity?

What do you call a camel with no humps?

Humphrey.*

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* Credit to Cody Burns, who shared this via Anne Burns.  I'm so glad to hear Cody is carrying on the tradition of funny started in Anne's family, as memorialized in the works of Carlton Winford, Anne's grandfather.

Funny No. 2 in D Major

What do you call the worms in Mozart's tomb?

De-composers.*

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* Credit to Lory Evensky for sharing this one.  

Thursday, April 24, 2014

This should give you a jolt of funny

What do you call a coffee bean after it is ground up and brewed into a cup of coffee?

A has-been.

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Monday, April 14, 2014

Friday, April 11, 2014

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Broken windows are glass-half-empty types...

Did you know that windows are afraid of wind?

All it takes is a little breeze and they shutter.

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Tuesday, March 11, 2014

What's good for the Glam-der is good for the Mother Goose...

What do you call a glamorous grandchild and a glamorous grandmother?

Glam-baby and Glam-Ma*

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* Though these terms have been in existence for a little while and I cannot quite ascertain who coined the terms, credit to Risha Neal for bringing these magical terms into our lives.




Footwear and farm animals, shoe 'nough!

What do you call it when you have a cow on your shoe?

"Moo"-shoe (Moo shu).

What do you call it when you have a horse on your shoe?

Horseshoe (obviously).

What do you call it when you have a goat on your shoe?

You don't.  I've got your goat!

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Don't be a-brayed, donkey!

Why didn't the donkey laugh when the giant joked that he was so hungry he could eat a horse?

He was worried the giant was-in-gesting!*

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Best read as: "He was worried the giant wasn't jesting."

Thursday, March 6, 2014

I hope it was at least a 100 Grand (Bar)

What happened when the attorney was caught with a stolen candy bar?

He was dis-barred.

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Thursday, February 13, 2014

One joke mushroomed into two!

Why should you never quarrel with someone who lives on a mountain covered in mushrooms?

Because he has the morel high ground.

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What do you call a provision in a marriage contract that requires one to eat mushrooms?

A morelity clause.*


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* Thanks to Amy Kuhlmann for inspiring both of these jokes by seizing upon the similarity between "moral" and "morel."

Snowy Whether

Why is it hard to be sure if it will snow?

Because snowstorms are full of flakes!

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Monday, February 3, 2014

Friday, January 17, 2014

Don't miss a beet!

What do you call it when you throw away a Swiss beet?

Dis-chard.

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* I must admit I originally thought "swiss chard" was a type of cabbage.  How beta vulgaris!

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Friday, January 3, 2014

This one's a bit of a doozy, so you'd best take it slow.

Did you hear about the lady who was so intimidated by road humps that she was afraid to drive home?

Fortunately, she slowly got over them.*

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* Contributed by Jeannette Harris.  If she keeps this up, we'll have to rename the site! (But we won't, because it's pretty much just me.)