Tuesday, June 20, 2017

You'll find this one humoresque!

What did the little harp say when the musician picked him up to play?

"You're making a lyre out of me!"

~~~~~~~~~~

A funny thing about migration patterns

Why are young people moving to Norway?

Because it's so af-fjord-able.

~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, April 24, 2017

Waiter you hear this one!

Why did the cowboy put on his hat and boots to eat a salad?

He wanted it with ranch dressing.

~~~~~~~~~~

Friday, February 24, 2017

Who Comes Here

Kinda' funny
A significant portion of the traffic on this site is from Israel, presumably because people there are looking for jokes related to the country of Jordan.






Do Pod People live nearby?

What's the number one sign you're in a seedy neighborhood?

Plants.

~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Lettuce laugh a little

What did the foodie call her favorite lettuce wrap?

Her romaine squeeze.

~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, January 30, 2017

Warning: This one may induce gelastic** fits

What does a Thesaurus eat for breakfast?

Synonym rolls.*

~~~~~~~~~~

*This one came to me from Terry Lewis, who heard it from someone else.  

** Gelastic is a synonym for "laughing."  Katagelasticism is when you enjoy laughing at others, apparently.

Friday, January 20, 2017

Thursday, November 3, 2016

This one has its ups and downs

Did you hear about the elevator who always came to sudden stops?

He was a bit of a jerk.

~~~~~~~~~~

Friday, August 12, 2016

Some political humor

Did you hear about the candidate accused of inventing cream cheese?

It was a smear campaign.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday, July 17, 2016

This one will not electrify you

My friend got an electric car free of charge.

It didn't go anywhere.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

A Corny Insult

Why do people have such hard feelings about succotash?

Because sometimes it maque choux ("mocks you").

~~~~~~~~~~

Friday, July 1, 2016

No gherkin this guy around...

Why are pickle makers often great businessmen?

They know a good dill when they see one.

~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Friday, March 18, 2016

Just shopping this joke around

How do you describe a lady who meanders around a grocery store with no idea of what she wants?

Listless.

~~~~~~~~~~

Friday, March 4, 2016

Space joke

What is the first step to hosting a party in outer space?

Planet.*

~~~~~~~~~~

*Credit goes to Jeannette Harris for sharing this with me.  It may have come from somewhere else, but it was too good not to share.

This joke is a bit grave

Why are gravediggers so sinister?

They are always plotting.

~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

This one is full of baloney

Whatcha' get if you cross a famous German composer with sandwiches Bach's lunch


Whatcha' get if you cross a famous German composer with sandwiches?

Bach's lunch.*
~~~~~~~~~~

*Special thanks to Anne E. Burns, who gave me permission to publish this on behalf of her grandfather, Carlton Winford, who sets the bar for joke tellers.











Sunday, January 10, 2016

Acorn-y joke.

How do you know your chauffeur is a squirrel?

He drives you nuts.
~~~~~~~~~~